Meet Nikita Goel – She Has Co-Authored 17 Books but has Never Read a Single One Before Taking to Writing — StarWords India

The Wallflower

Every writer dreams of conquering the world with his or her writing abilities. However, how many really get to do that? Nikita Goel is one such writer who is talented enough to have already co-authored 17 books! However, would you believe that she had never read a book before she started penning down her thoughts?…

via Meet Nikita Goel – She Has Co-Authored 17 Books but has Never Read a Single One Before Taking to Writing — StarWords India

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An Exotic Weekend In The Bahamas

Early this month, we celebrated our wedding anniversary with a four-day escape to the wild, exotic and breathtakingly beautiful islands of The Bahamas.

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The Bahamas Paradise Cruise was our most awaited travel destinations. This ship is a vacation in itself. A 2-night cruise that sails every alternate day from Florida to the Bahamas. It is perfect for impromptu travelers.

We were lucky that the Chefs on the cruise prepared Indian dishes. With all day dining, we feasted ourselves to our heart’s desires. The casino, onboard shows, music and dance, magicians and comedians made it all a dream come true. Our first cruise experience was anything but magical. The Carribean has its own charm. The Ocean consumes my whole existence, the smell of the ocean intoxicates me and the music of the waves is meditative.

The beauty of the Bahamas is unspoiled, untouched and exotic beaches with natural wonders. The Bahamian culture and history are worth exploring. The people are the friendliest, most laid back and happiest ones. We brought back home a lot of souvenirs from the Islands. I was told that Nikita is a Bahamian name. ( It is Russian, too).

It was a happy weekend

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Happiness

The Indian Blogger Awards 2017

When I started blogging a decade back, Indiblogger was a constant source of inspiration with new contests, forums and discussions about everything under the sky. I made some wonderful friends as we debated about the burning issues of the world with like minded people. Probably, I would have left blogging long time back, if I did not have Indiblogger.

I have been listed in Top Indian Bloggers for three consecutive years, thanks to Indiblogger. I earned unlimited  vouchers, hampers, gifts and books through this website, all I had to do was participate. If you are capable, you shall be rewarded here.

I am thrilled to be nominated under 5 categories;

1- Relationships

2- Gender Equality

3- Religion and Spirituality

4- Information on Indian culture, arts and science.

5- Parenting

It is the right time to show some love, folks 😀

Leave a testimonial/ comment HERE

Love,

Nikita

Numb

 

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I feel numb most of the days. Like nothing affects me at all. My brain as if has stopped reacting to emotions.

Ten years down the lane, I was this girl who would get excited for having ice cream, cry if anyone in the world raised voice, dance when her favorite song was played. A girl who lived in the moment. She felt everything inside her veins. She was living on the edge, always too excited, too sad, too happy or too gloomy.

And surprisingly, I do not want to be that girl again.

There is a war going inside me and no matter who wins the battle, I will lose the game of life.

 

Let us just stop putting People in Boxes!

 ” There’s a story behind every person. There’s a reason why they’re the way they are. They aren’t just like that because they want to. Something in the past created them, and sometimes it’s impossible to fix them”

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Oh Darling, go buy a Personality!

 

 

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Are Relationships Affected Adversely when Children Move Abroad?

This was originally published at Different Truths in my weekly column, Relationship Rationale

As the world is increasingly globalized, more and more people are traveling abroad for work and settling down in nations providing better opportunities. Mostly, couples who settle abroad are hanging between two worlds. They are too foreign for their homeland and too foreign for the adapted country.

Children living abroad suffer from identity crisis at some point. Raising children away from their cousins, grandparents, uncles, and aunts is a daunting task for parents. When you live in a country where you did not grew up as a child, a part of you would always feel incomplete.

It can be difficult to maintain the warmth and love in long distance relationships. We have Facebook, Skype, and WhatsApp but to feel truly connected with others, meeting them becomes crucial. People living abroad often miss on important weddings, birthdays and family get together.

A study of over 100 expat couples living all over the world has indicated that living abroad can put as much pressure on a relationship as having a first child.

How can we maintain better relationships being seven seas apart?

  1. Visit when you can

This goes both ways, it is nearly as important as parents are to visit their children as it is for children to occasionally meet the parents. It allows you to spend time together and understand each other’s world better. Parents often complain about their child’s choice of living abroad and openly express their disagreement with relatives and friends. It adversely affects the relationship.

Everyone seems to look at settling down abroad as a cakewalk. Quite the contrary, it is just the opposite of cakewalk.

  1. Call on important occasions and events

If you are calling on birthdays and anniversaries, it makes your relatives and friends feel special. There is a possibility that one would not be able to attend family wedding due to unavailability of leave or work pressure. One should always make sure that ‘family call’ happens on such occasions. This is the best time to video call with your extended family.

  1. Celebrate festivals together

If you can plan your travel around Christmas or Diwali, you will never regret your decision. It becomes extremely suffocating and depressing to stay away from family during festivals.

  1. Communicate regularly, but not all the time

Schedule a regular time to call suitable to both places. Make sure you frankly discuss about the time zones and your schedules. As the people who have settled abroad can be busy exploring new places and new people, it can be overwhelming to take time out for friends and family in homeland.

One should always take time out to talk with the loved ones but there has to be a limit. If you are discussing every little detail about your new life, it can often get depressing and suffocating when opinions and disagreements come along.

  1. Patience and understanding

Both parents and children need a lot of patience and understanding to keep the warmth and love in relationship. While having arguments is normal — healthy even — for a relationship, you may realize that fighting long distance is a completely different ball game from fighting in person.

Work at expressing yourselves clearly, articulately, and recognising when the problem is actually distance. Explain what it is that is upsetting you rather than blaming the other person.

You aren’t just Beautiful , You are a Masterpiece

 

You don’t need anybody’s approval to be Yourself  

No matter who you are and what you do, there will always be someone who does not approve of you.And that’s okay. If you start changing yourself for everyone that crosses your path, you’ll be universally rejected one day. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be accepted, but you should never have to change who you are for the sake of winning someone else’s approval.You have to love yourself without feeling the need of people appreciating you.You are Perfect the way you are.

Select your Audience for the front row

You don’t have to make room for people who create drama or make you feel small.It could be anyone, your closest friend, your spouse or your parent. You don’t ever have to carry the burden of a relationship that does not help you grow. You chose who you want to be around – Always.

Don’t you dare go against your heart  

What is right for you can be wrong for the rest of the world .It does not mean you have to stop believing in yourself.  Do what your heart tells you to do in all possible ways.Hurdles can be carved into stairs to your destination. Stay Strong – You are on the right track.You were born to make a difference.

Shout and Scream, when you need Help 

You do not have to swallow your tears or hide your pain. Tell the world ‘I am hurt , I am in pain, I need help ” We all do go through this phase many times in one Life. Do not feel guilty of not being happy.If something feels wrong, it always is.

Do not EVER listen to people  

They all change their perceptions . I swear by these word from an old Bollywood movie -Kuch to log kahenge , logo ka kaam hai Kehna. People will always try to pull you back when they see you taking the flight. They would curse you, betray you, call you names and come back to lick your feet. They are Hollow Men.They go with the Flow. They change wardrobes with the changing trends. They are the ones who throw away diamonds for rocks. Do not let anyone who gave up on their dreams talk to you about yours.

People show what they feel about You  

People may not always tell you how they feel about you , but they will always show. Pay attention.That little voice inside you is never wrong. Trust the vibrations, energy never lies. Words can be carefully moulded and gestures cautiously controlled, but the way one makes you feel can not be faked.

Believe that you own the World    

Letting Go needs courage. Do not be afraid of letting go of things , people and places as you won’t grow if you decide to stay. You need to be flowing like a river.The Universe is infinite and the world is your family. Extend your horizons and let the oceans embrace you.

Being Wrong is necessary for Growth  

You also need to understand that you would not always be right.There would be wrong decisions, wrong judgements and wrong paths that you take in Life. All of them were meant to teach you a lesson and they keep recurring until you learn it. Life is a strict teacher.

 You ain’t just Beautiful, You are a  Masterpiece   

 

Linking it to

Monday Musings

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The Wardrobe of a Woman and the dignity and grace of the entire clan .

Some people believe that dressing modestly is a part of respecting the boundaries of marriage. “You’re married? You do not look like it,” is a phrase women hear even after a decade of being married. Especially in India, women have to look different once they are married. Once you tie the knot, your wardrobe has to announce your marital status.

A woman has to be a sari-clad, wearing sindoor and mangal sutra, but men can roam around the house in shorts and tees all their lives. There is no obligation for men to ‘look married’ and ‘sanskari’. Men can go on living their lives, nothing much changes once they are married but women become ‘ghar ki izzat’ (honour of the family) the moment she steps inside a new home. A woman is treated as a walking, talking platform meant to display her husband’s wealth.

A woman is treated as a walking, talking platform meant to display her husband’s wealth. The imaginary ‘izzat’ of the house is let down and the family has to face severe embarrassment if a married woman is spotted wearing anything western. The wardrobe of a woman can have a drastic impact on dignity and grace of the entire clan.

Imagine the world where men have to wear traditional attires, talk softly, cook delicacies, and make babies. Do you think men would be able to carry on with the weight of the world on their shoulders?

In ancient India, Hindu men and women adorned themselves with exotic jewelry around their bodies. Hindu scriptures talk in detail about how men relished accessorising themselves. Over a period, men stopped being decorative pieces but women were forced to follow the ancient traditions to keep it alive. It becomes a ‘talk of the town’ if married women decide to wear something un-traditional, they say things like – your husband’s age multiplies if you wear sindoor on your forehead.

Indian women nowadays are financially independent working as CEOs of reputed organisations but nobody can escape the pressure of becoming a sanskari bahu. You could be a miser, destroying families over trivial issues but not wearing body-covering clothes is illegal.

We are teaching our daughters to be independent so that their in-laws can tame them.

A woman could be earning better than her husband could but she is graded for culinary skills, alone.

“Oh, she has not popped out a baby in five years. There must be something wrong with her.”

“She comes from a family where values were not impacted.”

“She is a disgrace to our family- look at those skinny jeans, who wears those after marriage!”

Sadly, women themselves are carrying forward the tradition of taming other women like cows and buffaloes.

Originally published under my weekly column – Relationship Rationale at Different Truths

The Best Gifts I Received …

-A Handwritten letter by the love of my life

  • A Ghazal : ” Apni dhun me rehta hoon”

  • ” The Secret” Book

-A Huge Teddy Bear by school friends on a birthday

  • A Poem was written for me

-” The Monk who sold his Ferrari” a gift by my Professor at College

-My First Watch by Dad

  • A Tiara

  • A Message that someone decided not to commit suicide after reading a blog post of mine.

The most precious gifts of our lives are not things but emotions like someone who introduced us to a song/movie/book that changed the way we look at life itself.

An advice, a suggestion, a compliment or a word of appreciation from someone that meant everything to us . I remember vividly telling my friend about the new project I got for writing, I said, ” It’s good,but temporary kind of work” to which he replied, ” Jaani, Zindagi kaun si permanent hai” and I stopped breathing for a moment. It was a wake-up call that I had not been grateful for life lately.

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Another friend shared a very personal story and mentioned that it is the first time he’s speaking about it to someone other than himself .

A Friend shared a picture of her room’s wall with 2 pictures framed hanging neatly, one with her brother and another with me . ” You’re my family, not a friend,” she said.

Someone was told me , ” I make everyone around me feel special about themselves even if they aren’t special”

I called my masi in law, if there’s a word like that at all , shared with her my grief,cried and sobbed. Her husband gave me a gift that day which shall be cherished forever. He said, ” There is no bond of tears and life. kuch b ho jaye zindagi me, aansu kabhi aankho me lane hi nahi hai” { No matter what happens in life, tears are never the solution }

I once received a message saying, ” Hey, I wanted to tell you something. I have been following your blog secretively. I never left a comment but I used to read you every day. You’ve helped me overcome depression. I changed my mind , I wanted to end my life and you stopped me from doing that without ever talking to me directly.

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Another follower mentioned that he came out of the depression after losing his wife after 30 years as he read me.

Besides, the good things people said, the bad ones have been the priceless gifts. When I was hated passionately , I became better . When people turned their backs on me when I needed them the most, I stopped asking for help.

I owe more to the haters than the ones who loved me.

Words have been the best Gifts I ever received  🙂