There should always be something bigger than your fears: Bernard D’sa

Warrior of Change” is an initiative to inspire positive change in the minds of people and empower them to start their own journey through powerful stories of real people striving hard to make a difference.

Our next Warrior of Change is Bernard D’sa, Founder and Chief Executive Officer at Raindrops Inc. (the parent company of Raindrops Publishers). He is deeply passionate about poetry, which reflects, in his work. He studied English literature along with philosophy and spirituality. He started as a writer and observed that it is very difficult to be published at Indian publishing scenario.Raindrops Inc. (Raindrops Company) came into being in 2012 and has been growing ever since. Continue reading

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One Man Started a Forest and Another Moved The Mountains: Real Life Superheroes

“Warrior of Change” is an initiative to inspire positive change in the minds of people and empower them to start their own journey through powerful stories of real people striving hard to make a difference.

Our next Warrior of Change is Jadav Payeng and Dashrath Manjhi. Jadav is an  environmental activist and forest worker from Jorhat, India.  He is the man who single-handedly planted a 1,360-acre forest. He transformed a barren land into a lush new forest. Who says, a man alone can do nothing.

Jadav Payeng is the man who single-handedly started a forest.Watch the documentary here

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Dashrath Manjhi is the man who carved a mountain using hammer and chisel over a period of 22 years. Watch him here

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Here are two brave souls who devoted their entire lives for mother nature. One was determined to start a forest and another wanted to break a mountain and carve a path for his villagers.

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He single-handedly created 1,360 acres of the jungle when he was just a teenager worried about his homeland. “The snakes died in the heat, without any tree cover. I sat down and wept over their lifeless forms. It was carnage. I alerted the forest department and asked them if they could grow trees there. They said nothing would grow there. Instead, they asked me to try growing bamboo. It was painful, but I did it. There was nobody to help me. Nobody was interested,” says Payeng. He even transplanted ants to his burgeoning ecosystem to bolster its natural harmony.

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Dashrath, on the other hand, was ridiculed for having an ambition of moving the mountains. He tirelessly worked for 22 years and carved the mountain. His inspiration was the death of his beloved due to lack of medical attention. The villagers had to travel 70 kilometers to see a doctor, the distance was reduced to one kilometer after efforts of Dashrath. He was denied help or assistance from the Indian government.He was called the poor man’s Shah Jahan by filmmaker Ketan Mehta who has also made a documentary on his life.

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Let us just stop putting People in Boxes!

 ” There’s a story behind every person. There’s a reason why they’re the way they are. They aren’t just like that because they want to. Something in the past created them, and sometimes it’s impossible to fix them”

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Continue reading

I love unraveling the person through the words: Saumya Kulshreshtha

“Warrior of Change” is an initiative to inspire positive change in the minds of people and empower them to start their own journey through powerful stories of real people striving hard to make a difference.

Our next Warrior of Change is the Founder of Poet’s Collective and Maha Varta, Saumya Kulshreshtha. She is full of love, happiness, and warmth for everyone around. She fights hatred with love and darkness with light.

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  • I met you first time during my Book Launch and you were the most wonderful person in the whole room. You are the perfect epitome of Poetry. What does poetry mean to you?

    Interestingly, poetry has meant different things to me at different points of time. As of today, it means two things – stories and solace. Stories because I personally find resonance in the kind of poems I get to hear from people who attend my gatherings. What drips through their carefully polished words are their innate sentiments and stories, and I love unraveling the person through his words. Solace because I write when it becomes impossible to contain. When nothing seems to offer any kind of comfort, your own words become powerful and meaningful. Poetry, personally, means allowing the self to become a beacon of hope and meaning.

  • You have conducted hundreds of creative writing workshops on Poetry and Indian Mythology. You also serve as the Advisory Board of “Youth for Heritage Foundation.”How was your experience conducting workshops?

Indescribably gratifying! To conduct a workshop or even to do a talk is an act of tremendous responsibility. Add to it dollops of thrill, and there I am, standing in front of a crowd of eager listeners, telling them all I have learned, for that is the only way to make knowledge grow.

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I have been fortunate to have been placed in front of crowds who have known me a little, and hence are welcoming and warm. They possess an eagerness to learn, and I possess an eagerness to teach, as well as learn more than them in the process. I am hungry to learn. An audience that doesn’t challenge me beyond what I know does not inspire me. For instance, my most difficult, and yet most fond workshop was in Saharanpur with school children, where I was at odds to comprehend the language (as well as the idiom) to converse with them on. But, since we all possessed a clean slate, we created some great poems collaboratively, with expressions so unique that a faint proud smile automatically appears on my face the moment I think of it.

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I conduct workshops/lectures on mythology, poetry appreciation, and poetry writing, creative writing, effective communication, visualizing ideas, literature (particularly Indian writing in English) and anything else allied to these fields which present an opportunity to learn. The great thing is, these random workshops have led to a full-blown course which I conduct in IIIT Delhi, teaching mythology and poetry in alternate semesters, in addition to teaching communications in Shiv Nadar School, Gurgaon, and Noida.

  • Do you believe that Artists have a responsibility towards society?

Always. It is a firm belief. First, artists have a responsibility towards themselves, because the nascent expressionist within them needs to be identified, needs to be tested, needs to be given flight. However, once artists enter the public domain, where they are aware that they have influence, and they are potential catalysts to bring about positive or negative changes, they cannot eschew their larger responsibility. Art is capable of inspiring and provoking the masses into thought and action. The past is a testimony to how movements have been inspired and encouraged through songs, theater, speeches, performances, and today is no different in that regard. In fact, with the advent and spread of social media, socially responsible art is more a reality today than ever before.

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  • How do you manage a full-time job with social activities?

 

Passion and prioritization. When you are really passionate about doing something, you always find the time. On instances, even I am baffled by a number of tasks I am simultaneously involved in, but I have learned to set my priorities right. Efficiency while completing tasks helps. Admittedly, I am not the best manager of time – that is one virtue which I consistently fail at getting right, but people don’t get to know of it because my efficiency goes up as deadlines loom near. I work really well with deadlines and have devised a personal reward system for myself.

I think what really helps my work is also the fact that I give a lot of time to myself. ‘Me-time’ is necessary for creative pursuits, and I have been blessed with friends and colleagues who understand this.

  • You are someone who truly believes in kindness and love despite all the hatred in the world. What is your message for your followers?

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Don’t give into violence. Don’t give into hate. Don’t give into anyone who convinces you that our world is a bad place to live in.

Agreed, that the world is difficult, disappointing and devastating at times, even violent, but, my dear, we all belong here together. Strive to create islands of love and peace around you and hope fervently that your island keeps growing, that the peace and love of your heart spread out like an infection. Now, more than ever, it is important that kindness and goodness speak up to quell at least some shades of violence which are increasingly being normalized in our world.

And lastly, learn. Learn as much as you can, in as many ways as you can. Read, watch videos, talk to people, travel, and don’t give up this pursuit till you are convinced that never in life can a single narrative exist. That only perspective is real, rest is illusory.

To know more about her, log on to her Blog

How I fought with Depression – Apurvaa

“Warrior of Change” is an initiative to inspire positive change in the minds of people and empower them to start their own journey through powerful stories of real people striving hard to make a difference.

Our  Sixth Warrior of Change is the Owner/ Founder of Fitness GrooveApurvaa. India’s Best Fitness and Wellness Experts have trained her. She represented a Yoga event on 21 June, International Day of Yoga in New Delhi. She was a professional Jazz dancer, Reiki Grand Master, a young Entrepreneur and now a Yoga Guru.

Here is an inspiring story of a True Hero in her own words;

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Hi,

This is Apurva Saxena from Delhi. I read about “Warrior of Change” Interview Series shared on social media and thought to share my life’s story about how I fought with depression and came back to life. And it wasn’t an easy way choosing my profession as a yoga teacher!
It was that time when my results of the final year of college ( Bachelors in History .)  in June 2008 were out and I was hit by some chemical reactions in my brains. Some doctors even refused to write the diagnosis on the paper. I was not in my normal consciousness for 4 weeks. I was getting hallucinations and I went into my own imaginary world. By the time I got back to my normal self, my family told me that I was unwell for quite a long time. My treatment had started and I was told that I was affected by some type of serious depression. It took me around a year and a half to get back to my normal life again and meanwhile I had gained 25 kgs as a result of the side effects of the medicines. I had stopped seeing myself in the mirror as I refused to accept the person I had become.
For me, my life had come to an end and I saw no ray of hope. What saddened me the most was that some of my school friends spread rumors that I had become mad or faced some mental craziness. They not just made fun of me but made fun of my illness.
I was trying really hard to come out of that safe shell I had created for myself where I avoided talking to people, going out of my home and was hell scared of driving.
A person who had been a topper in her academics in college, won competitions in dance or music performances, a professional Jazz dancer, her life had come to a Halt.
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But I didn’t give up on life and I fought back!
I started practicing Positive affirmations for my health, I resumed back to my yoga practice after taking permission from my doctor. Yoga helped me in the reduction of my medicine dosage and gradually it pulled me out of depression!
I was gaining my confidence back and I enrolled myself in PG Diploma in tourism and aviation from Kuoni Academy. I slowly gained my confidence back and had lost 15 kgs in a year as well with the help of yoga and positive affirmations.
I cleared my PGDM and even got selected in an MNC after completion of my course as a travel executive. But that job wasn’t giving me enough happiness as compared to my one hour of Yoga class!
I realized I’m born to practice and teach yoga as it gave me Immense happiness and contentment!  My family has always been very supportive and they encouraged me to become a yoga teacher. But again the society! People looked down upon me and started questioning my profession and looked at me with real pity! It was that time in 2010 when people didn’t consider unconventional professions any good or worthy to do! But my family stood by my side like a wall! I got my professional training from a reputed yoga school in Noida and then I didn’t look back, I did many professional courses in fitness from Reebok and  Master level courses from Yoga Alliance International.
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Also got training and practice in  Ashtanga Yoga from India Yoga, Mysore recently. After teaching yoga as a freelancer for three years, I opened up my yoga studio in 2013 with the name of Fitness Groovee,  I also worked for Reebok in 2014 for their Raahgiri program as their ambassador for yoga and took yoga sessions for almost a year at Connaught Place, New Delhi. Got affiliated under Yoga Alliance International in 2015 trained almost a 100 students independently in 2 years and today I run an affiliated branch of one of the most esteemed Yoga schools – Mokshaytan Yoga Sansthan and conduct their professional courses.
Now I not just run yoga classes but also take yoga sessions at some of the best corporates of the country!
Life taught me a lesson and made me a warrior and brought the best out of me when I saw the worst state of health and suffered from depression! I never lost hope and kept going on!
I am attaching my web page and link of my Facebook page.  I just want to motivate many women out there who are fighting with depression, I want to tell them that just hang on there and fight back. Never give up!

We are Proud of you, Apurvaa

Much Love,

Nikita

You can read all the other Interviews HERE

The World Needs To Hear Your Story!

 

 I whole-heartedly believe in the goodness of people, the power of kindness and the joy of giving. If we pay attention, everyone around us is a Hero, fighting their own unique battles and inner demons all their lives.

I read this quote – ” Keep on doing Good, It would come back tenfold in unexpected ways” and I try practising it. I always compliment people when I like something they do or say. I cheer for people when they succeed and achieve greatness. I forgive the ones that hurt me intentionally and I look for the good in worst circumstances.

I had also read that we receive what we give. It’s the Law. If we continue to pull others down, hurt them or belittle them- we’ll receive the same from some one else.

I became a part of this wonderful Literary Organisation called- Aagaman Literary & Cultural Society which promotes Arts of all kinds and is unbiased in it’s approach towards Artists. I was offered the prestigious position of – Managing Editor for Purple Hues, an anthology of Poems. With its grand success, Pawan Sir decided to make it an annual Anthology with a unique theme every year.

You can check the Links here

1- Purple Hues

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2- Purple Hues -2

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We recently announced the Theme for our third Edition – “Inspiring Real-Life Stories” because we believe in Warrior Next-Door.

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“Inspiring Real-Life Stories”

The stories from real life are as varied as the people they represent. Different life experiences, different families, different callings, different mistakes and different outcomes. It is marvelous to hear all the many ways that the Life works.

If you have an inspiring Story about something that has happened to you or someone you know which you think the world, should hear, E-mail us now!

Tell an exciting, heartwarming, or funny story. Your story should be in the first person and should be about yourself or someone close to you.

Tell your story in a way that will make the reader cry, laugh or say “Bravo!”

Your story must be true.No fiction, no creative writing.

Your life’s story is unlike any that you have ever read before- because it is yours and it needs to be heard. Send the details to what you have been through to sanmati555@gmail.com in less than 3000 words and be sure to include your name, age, phone number, address, a photograph, and a short biography.

 You could be featured in the next issue of PURPLE HUES!

The selected participants will need to pay a contributory fee of Rs.2000.They would be awarded a Certificate of Appreciation along with five complimentary copies. The Submission window is open until March 31, 2017.

 If you have any question, do leave comments.

Shocking Facts About INDIA- The Golden Bird

1-  India was the world’s largest economy during the years 1 AD and 1000 AD. In 1500 AD India’s economy had a 24.5% share of world income, the second largest in the world after China, which had a 25% share.

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2-During the period when the Mughals ruled India, the country’s income was 17.5 million Pounds, which was greater than the entire treasury of Great Britain.

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3- World’s Richest Man in 1937 was an Indian named- Osama Ali Khan, who bought 50 Rolls Royce and used them to dump his garbage just to show off the wealth Indians possessed when a British official who made fun of his capacity to buy one Royce! He also brought the largest diamond in the world, the Jacob Diamond, which was worth $200 million and used it as a paperweight. In 2008, Forbes magazine listed the Nizam as the “fifth all-time wealthiest” person with a net worth of $210.8 billion

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4-  The Peacock Throne: This magnificent piece of ancient India’s artifact was made up of 1150kg of gold and 230kg of precious stones including 185 carats Kohinoor. In 1999 it was estimated that this throne would have cost $804million dollars or roughly Rs 4.5 billion.

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5-Kohinoor is 106 carats diamond and was once the largest diamond in the world. It is said that the diamond is 5000 years, called Syamantaka jewel. It got transferred to the hands of many Indian and Persian rulers. It was mounted on the Peacock Throne on the commands of Shah Jahan and was taken away by British during 1851, to be placed on the Queen’s Crown.

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6- The pearls which Julius Caesar presented to Brutus’ mother and the famous earring of Queen Cleopatra were traded from India.There are several references of gold trade from India to other parts of the world.

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7- Maharani Indira Devi, a mother of Gayatri Devi, was a fashion connoisseur. The Queen of Cooch Behar ordered 100 pairs of shoes from Salvatore Ferragamo (one of the most famous designers of the 20th century). Some of those shoes were studded with diamonds.

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8- Nadir Shah’s Treasures

The Persian invader Nadir Shah invaded India in 1739.It is said, that the loot was so massive that his treasure caravan was said to be 150 miles long. People in Persia did not pay taxes for 3 years after the massive loot from India.

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9-India’s Sree Padmanabhaswamy Temple,Chamber B

The Treasure found inside the  Sree Padmanabhaswamy Temple, Chamber A under court orders of 2011 was estimated to be $ 22 Billion.The Supreme Court of India later ordered that Vault B be opened only after proper documentation of articles found in the Vault A. The Priests of the Temple claim that Vault B has a bigger treasure than Vault A.

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10-  India still holds the position of World’s Biggest Consumer of Gold ( 700 tonnes per year)

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India never invaded any country in her last 100000 years of history despite being looted for centuries by Mughals, Portuguese, Persians, French and British. India was rightly named Golden Bird as few texts claim that India during Mughal Empire had around 11,000 Golden Temples.

I will rescue 3.68 lakh kids begging on the streets of New Delhi by June 14th – Ashish Sharma

“Warrior of Change” is an initiative to inspire positive change in the minds of people and empower them to start their own journey through powerful stories of real people striving hard to make a difference.

Our first Warrior of Change was one of the India’s most influential and powerful Filmmakers – Sanjay Tiwari who has carved a niche for himself in his early 20’s and is truly unstoppable. His movies are a mirror to harsh realities of our society – Be it a hunger stricken village “Bundelkhand” or indifference towards left-handed people “Ulte Hath”. To read the complete interview, click here

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Our second Warrior of Change is an One-Man Army – Ashish Sharma who has started a revolution all by himself to make  Delhi, begging free by 14 June 2017 and send those 3.68lakhs kids to schools anyhow under his ambitious project – OneGoOneImpact

1- You are one of the most humble and compassionate souls I have ever known. While others sit down and talk about child labour, human trafficking, and animal slaughter, you have begun a revolution alone. What inspires you?

  • If our Earth can selflessly give us food, shelter, fresh air and water free of cost to billions of us throughout our lives, why can not we give away something in return? My mother has instilled in me the belief that we have a universe within us and not we have a greater purpose in lives.

2- Tell us about “OneGoOneImpact” and the heroic warrior in you who has promised the world that Delhi would be begging free by 14 June 2017 and those 3.68lakhs kids would be sent to schools anyhow.

  • “OneGoOneImpact” is a project to rescue 3.68 lakh kids begging on the streets of Delhi by June 14th and 9 other states gradually. I am merging all social sectors-NGOs, Courts and Schools to create awareness through artworks.I have faith in channelizing all the surrounding energy towards one objective. After rescuing few kids last year, I was constantly thinking about the eradication of this social vice from ground level in one go. I remain deeply influenced by our Prime Minister and Chief Minister. This was my Awakening.

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3-   You compose songs for Bollywood, write poetry, create art works, and aim to bring a drastic change in society. How do you do all that without ever having negative thoughts?

  • What the difference in an artist and a common man? I have kept asking myself this question from childhood.Art is a blessing to attain who are we within and inspire others to do the same. We have to draw a line now between what we are as an artist. If we go to back in history, we would find art has a meaning? Mantras used to heal people, artwork used to make people feel energies so if at that time such things could happen why can’t we do it now?

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And we can use our artwork to help people.Ah… negative thoughts, even I get negative thoughts, I cry and feel messed up often but when we start taking responsibility, we learn to deal with negativity.My Best friend Divya Nair has taught me a lot of things and I give her a lot of credit for all my endeavours.

4- Tell us more about your Dream project- “The Universe talks” which is an impeccable fusion of 31 sketches, 31 poems in 31 languages from 13 countries and 18 languages of India.”

  • The Universe Talks had started randomly.A kid asked me,” bhaiya why don’t you go for the exhibition where you can create beautiful and unique artwork?” My sketches are of an abstract art, I draw my thoughts and inner world in a universal way.Universe has my back and I get what I want.

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It was not on my wish list to take it on such a huge level, but with more and more sketches I got an idea to merge poetry with sketches. Later, I had a thought about adding various dying languages.And to promote all languages and artwork, a fusion of 31 sketches, 31 poems in 31 languages from 13 countries and 18 languages of India came into being.

5- Apart from exploring your creative talents, you are deeply passionate about working with NGO; s and Old Age Homes. What drives you towards social welfare?

  • Since the childhood, I had an urge to do something for the old aged people. I was 8 years old when I had started visiting old age homes and promised myself to volunteer selflessly.

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I see myself as a mini-earth whose purpose is to give without expecting anything in return. I have seen my parents and grandparents work selflessly all their lives for others, they have inspired me tremendously.

Under One Go One Impact, the first target is begging, another is street animals and finally old-aged people.

6- You have initiated the #STANDFORSTREETANIMALS DRIVE. What is it about?

  • A friend of mine “Divya Das” is doing recommendable work for street dogs. I started the hash tag #STANDFORSTREETANIMALS where I make people understand how we all are same.I am happy to share that five of my friends have already adopted street animals after my persuasion.I am trying to spread awareness and connecting with different organisations with the same mission.

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I am creating a model where anyone would be able to help, adopt and fund for street animals under this campaign by a mere click online #STANDFORSTREETANIMALS.

7- What is your message for the audience? How can we all bring a change in our society?

  • Help Others. Serve Others.Fight for the less-fortunate ones, spread awareness and treat yourself like a mini-earth which has a purpose of giving selflessly.

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Duayen to everyone.

There must be a reason why CEO of World’s Greatest Companies is either Indian or of Indian origin.

According to research from St. Gallen University in Switzerland, Indian executives are inclined toward participative management and building meaningful relationships with subordinates. “The leadership style traditionally employed in India fostered an emotional bond between superiors and subordinates,”

According to US Census Bureau, Indians stand out as the richest as well as most educated ethnic group in the country.

Perhaps most importantly, the Indian managers get to the top because they persevere. Most of those I mentioned had the patience to rise through the ranks at their companies, learning their business thoroughly from every angle. Nooyi joined Pepsi in 1994, Jain took his first job at Deutsche Bank a year later, Menezes has been with Diageo since 1997, Narayen was hired by Adobe in 1998, and Nadella’s appointment crowns a 22-year career with Microsoft.

There is nothing specifically Indian about empathy, humility, patience and an ability to dream. Yet it is these qualities that appear to have created the “Indian club” of overachievers in global business.

1. Sundar Pichai – Google

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Pichai Sundararajan, better known as Sundar Pichai, is a technology executive and current CEO of Google Inc, under the holding company of Alphabet Inc. He joined Google in 2004 and has headed various projects including Chrome and Jive.

Earnings: ~ 50 million dollars

2- Satya Nadella – Microsoft

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He worked with Sun Microsystems as a member of its technology staff before Microsoft in 1992. He then worked under various roles before he was appointed as the CEO.

Earnings: ~ 84 million dollars

3- Indra Nooyi – PepsiCo

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Nooyi held product manager positions at Johnson & Johnson and textile firm Mettur Beardsell. She then joined the Boston Consulting Group (BCG) and later on held strategy positions at Motorola and Asea Brown Boveri. She was named the president and the CFO after 7 years in the firm and became the CEO in the year 2011.

Nooyi says: “You need to look at the employee and say, ‘I value you as a person. I know that you have a life beyond PepsiCo, and I’m going to respect you for your entire life, not just treat you as employee number 4,567.'”

Earnings: ~ 18.6 million dollars

4- Shantanu Narayen – Adobe Systems

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He started off with a career at Apple and then moved on to serving as the director of desktop and collaboration products for Silicon Graphics. He then co-founded Pictra Inc., a company that pioneered the concept of digital photo sharing over the Internet. He also serves on Management Advisory Board of the current President of the States.

Earnings: ~ 17.8 million dollars

5- Nikesh Arora – SoftBank

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It is the largest telecom companies in Japan and also one the leading investors in major startups in India. Before joining the giant, Nikesh worked with Google as a Chief Business Officer. He is known to the third highest paid executive in the world.

Earnings: ~ 132 million dollars

6-Sanjay Jha – Global Foundries

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Global Foundries is the world’s first full-service semiconductor foundry with a truly global manufacturing and technology footprint. Before taking up the top job at Global Foundries, he served as the CEO of Motorola mobility and later on for Qualcomm.

Earnings: ~ 8.6 million dollars

7. Ajit Jain – Berkshire Hathaway Insurance

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One of the favourites of Warren Buffett, Ajit Jain is currently the President of the leading insurance group and is also shortlisted as one of the two successors for the position of the CEO. He previously worked with Mckinsey & Co.

Earnings: ~ 10 million dollars

8. Dinesh Paliwal – Harman Industries

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A leader in the market of premium audio and infotainment systems for the automotive, consumer and professional businesses. He worked at the ABB Group as President Global Markets and Technology, before he moved to Harman group.

Earnings: ~ 10.6 million dollars

9. Ajay Banga – MasterCard

newsroom.mastercardCourtesy: newsroom.mastercard.com

He is the current president and CEO of one of the leading financial services company. Recently, President Barack Obama appointed Banga to serve as a Member of the President’s Advisory Committee for Trade Policy and Negotiations. He is also the chairman of the United States – India Business Council (USIBC), a member of a board of directors of the Dow Chemical Company, a member of the Council on Foreign Relations and the member of International Business Council of the World Economic Forum.

Earnings: ~ 12.4 million dollars

10. Rakesh Kapoor – Reckitt Benckiser

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A UK listed MNC which deals in consumer goods and is a producer of health, hygiene and home products. He literally worked his way up the ladder in the company and worked in different roles including Regional Sales Manager, General Manager, and Regional Marketing Director.

Earnings: ~ 17 million dollars

Source – Bloomberg.com

Source- BBC News

Are we subconsciously looking for parent’s approval all our lives?

Every morning is a chance to shape our children’s future. The way that we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.

Think about the times when you screamed at your toddler for spilling over the milk on the floor or breaking your favourite picture frame. You could have done better. It takes one moment to cool yourself down and clean up the floor but the child can take as long as forever to forget your anger. Instead of reacting with anger, react with empathy. Yelling at them will only destroy their capabilities to become better.

1. Words have Power

We, as adults carelessly say words like, “dumb, lazy, stupid, thoughtless and mean” to children that can stay with them for a lifetime. We forget things but children remember praises and criticism alike. Your kids continue to hear these words in their heads before they start anything. Instead of saying, “You are so lazy. Get up and help me” try saying “You work wonders. Can you help me with this thing?” Instead of tearing them down, you are building them up and the result would surprise you.

2. Your Children need your Time more than Toys

Children are like plants growing in the garden. They need constant attention and love. Modern parents are providing more stuff than our ancestors did but they hardly ever get time to sit and play with them. Every adult needs happy memories of childhood to stay sane and happy towards the end of life.

3. Pointing out Mistakes

Mistakes are part of life – we all make them. Parents often feel the need to rescue children from making mistakes or help them avoid making mistakes. This does not help them – it cripples them for life.

Your children will make mistakes and the way you respond helps your children learn and grow.

4. Always Being There

Your children are growing and learning, they want to experiment and try new things themselves. This gives them a great sense of accomplishment and helps them feel good about themselves. You may feel one way to show your love is doing things for your children. This robs them of the opportunity to learn life skills and the satisfaction of feeling independent. It sends your children the hidden message, “You are not capable.”

5 Set a Bad Example

Some people say fighting in front of the kids have negative consequences. All fights are destructive for the child, even the ones that were in private room but the most destructive part is how you fight and resolve the matter. The best thing you can do for your child is to love his/her wife. You can set a bad example in criticising others, in carelessness with money, unthankfulness, unkindness, laziness, irresponsibility, and more.

6. Expressing Displeasure Regularly

Many people consider their children as a blank canvas where they can paint colour of their choices. When children start behaving against the expectations of parents, chaos takes birth. If a parent regularly expresses dislike and displeasure towards the child, it can destroy the relationship as well as child's outlook of the world.

You can disagree with your child without being rude and opinionated.

7. Showing Distrust in Them

Children are subconsciously always looking for their parent’s approval. When a parent doubts and distrusts the child, it affects them adversely. You have to believe in your child and his/her dreams, goals, and aspirations. When we start punishing them for speaking the truth, they begin to tell lies.

8. Taking Important Decisions about Child’s Life

There comes a point when your child is mature enough to take sensible decisions by himself/herself. When a parent forces his/her decisions believing they know what is best for the child, they destruct child’s self-esteem. It cripples them and makes them dependent lifelong on others to make decisions for them.

9. Demanding Blind Obedience

Some parents believe that their word is the final law, and that equals right. They do not view their kids as thinking, independent, autonomous individuals but instead as machines that they can dictate and program at will. Their mantra is that kids should obey everything. They want to control the lives of their children. Anyone raised by authoritarians like this becomes timid and submissive.

10. Lack of Appreciation

There are parents who believe that praising the child equal to spoiling the child. On the other hand, children need acceptance and appreciation far more than anyone else does. They are growing individuals learning new lessons every minute of their life and a word of praise can stay for a very long time.

It is important for parents to become exceedingly self-aware of their words and actions when interacting with their children, or with others when their children are nearby.