Every 13 seconds, there is someone getting divorced in America.
Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.
Deciding to end your marriage, without question is the most heart-breaking decision a couple could face.
Marriage does not necessarily keep two people tied together, it’s the love and friendship between them. Walking out of a relationship that you thought would end a lifetime and were willing to do anything to make it work is difficult but staying in an unhappy marriage could be worse.
Being married to someone should feel like living with your best friend, no guessing, no drama and no obligations.
A married couple’s success rate depends on how comfortable they feel talking about difficult situations and stressful events. Marriage is not a bed of roses. It is an unpaid and unrewarded endless work. Sometimes, couples can be overwhelmed by the daunting list of to-do’s- Jobs, Children, Money, Families, Relatives, Friends and Home.
I often think about our previous generations and how they managed to stay happy together for decades
I asked my grandmother and she said, ” We are the generation who fixed things when they were broken and did not throw them away”
Unlike our elders, The Millennials and Gen Z was served love on a platter.
There’s an increasing number of divorces all around the globe which was unheard of in the past centuries. Our parents and grandparents were united through marriages and they managed to be a happy throughout their lifetimes.
Unlike our generation that chose their life partner, fell head over heels in love and tied knots in marriage and within a few years, they realize they cannot live together. There have been couples who were lovers for almost a decade but fall apart within a year of marriage. What has changed? Why has it become easier to walk out a relationship?
Let us try and understand why has there been an upsurge of Divorces in the 21st century
There could be a million reasons for a couple to fall out of marriage. The most common reasons are infidelity, financial problems, lack of love and passion, lack of understanding and egoism.
1- The definition of a Family has changed completely
A single person taking care of a dog is a family. A couple deciding not to have kids is a complete family. More and more couples are alienating themselves from the parents and in laws. Our families are getting smaller and smaller.
2- Women are financially and emotionally independent human beings
Women are more independent compared to that of a few decades ago. One of the reasons, women stayed much longer than they should have in an abusive marriage was financial dependence on their husbands and societal pressure to perform.
3- We are expecting more from our partners
A partner has to play many roles in the 21st century. We are becoming more critical and judgmental towards our partners. In the 21st century, your spouse dictates your social status, ambition and goals. Couples who are not helping each other achieve their individual goals are falling out of love
4- Finding a new partner is easier than ever before
A new partner is just a call away. With social media and unlimited information, finding new people with same interests and ideologies is much easier than ever before.
5- We are not ready to save our marriages
We are not ready to work towards our marriage. If we feel things are not working out- we would rather walk out of it than work towards it.
6- We are spending more time together
This might sound weird but Modern world has given us ample opportunities to work remotely which forces couples to interact and engage in conversations that they had been avoiding for a long time.
7- We are not doing it anymore for the sake of vows or children
A majority of couples stayed together for the sake of commitment but not anymore. Never endure a broken marriage just to fulfill the vows you made or for the sake of commitment. You are doing no good to your partner and your children by pretending to love them.
“If you’re a parent with young kids, getting a divorce is better than staying in a bad marriage because these are formative years for them. They will likely seek out and emulate the types of relationships they see modeled. I want my relationships to be happy, healthy and mutually respectful so that my children never settle for anything else in their own lives,” advises Lindsey Light.
Learning to let go and step into the unknown may be the single most important thing you can do for your own sanity and the sanity of those around you.