Imagine that you had a relationship with somebody you didn’t love. Imagine a human, who is faulted, worthless and consistently a disappointment. What if you were caught in this alliance and it influenced your personal and psychological health? How will it destroy your normal life remaining with somebody, who continually reminds you of negativism?

When another person is continually evaluating and denouncing you, there’s an option to walk away but when that person is yourself, there’s no way out. When we do not love ourselves complete, we chase people who do not love us either.

If you think you are beaten, you are;

If you think you dare not, you don’t.

If you’d like to win, but think you can’t,

It’s almost certain that you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’ve lost.

For out in the world we find,

Success begins with a fellow’s will. It’s all in his state of mind.

If you think you’re outclassed, you are:

You’ve got to think high to rise.

You’ve got to be sure of yourself before you’ll ever win the prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man.

But sooner or later the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

~Napoleon Hill, Success through a Positive Mental Attitude

“When we understand that the relationship that we’ve been having with ourselves is toxic, then we can recognize that many of our relationships with other people are born of this same cloth and take on the same patterns and frequencies that we’ve become accustomed to. We can’t have a healthy relationship with anyone while we ourselves stay unhealthy,” opines Savannah Grey.

Being sympathetic to our self is one of the most daring things. We are so used to taking the blame and feeling guilty of ourselves that loving oneself is a revolt. Look at those people around you who are successful and happy in lives, they aren’t perfect.

We have to learn to stop finding faults within ourselves. The belief “I am not good enough” is the most toxic. The only one thing holding us from living the best version of ourselves in our personal judgment that we do not deserve it. We have to love ourselves the way we want others to love us.

When we lie on the bed every night, turning over things that took place that day, that month, that year, last year or ten years back – We only have ourselves. What goes on inside, none understands. No love from outside can fill up the vacuum inside unless we start out to appreciate ourselves.

Those little heart beats can become stronger than the storms, small voice inside screams when the world goes quiet around us. We throw away our Lives trying to fit in the world that is forever trying to mold us in a different way. We can never be good enough for everyone We leave parts of ourselves in all the places and people we loved only to realize one day that there isn’t much left for ourselves. We deprive ourselves of the love we deserve. By putting others above us, we tell them, “You have the right to walk all over me if that makes you feel any better.”

Invest time in yourself. Isolate yourself from the world occasionally. Do not drown in the expectations people keep from you. Re-connect with yourself. Remind yourself every day that you matter. When you need love, dig it from within. You think you need love and appreciation from outside to keep going but this is just a lie you have told yourself all these years. The only love you need is Self Love.

Orginally published under my weekly column – Relationship Rationale at Different Truths