Shouldn’t love be more than just that?

“You think you’ve seen her naked because she took her clothes off? Tell me about her dreams. Tell me what breaks her heart. What is she passionate about, and what makes her cry? Tell me about her childhood. Better yet, tell me one story about her that you’re not in. You’ve seen her skin, and you’ve touched her body. But you still know as much about her as a book you once found, but never got around to opening.” ~ Dominic Matthew Jackson

What is love to our generation? It is a partner with whom they can spend their weekends partying, post vacation pictures on Instagram with, take them to friends and family once in awhile without feeling embarrassed and pretend to be happy when together. We like the idea of love, but not love actually.

The kind of love we want is measured in life-sized teddy bears and bouquet of hundred roses. It’s incomplete without posting goofy pictures on social media and hashtagging #relationship goals, showing the world how your partner surprised you with material gifts and took you out to one of the fanciest restaurants in the cities. Shouldn’t love be more than just that?

Our generation wants to order love like food in a restaurant. We do not anymore believe in the golden words, “True love happens only once in a lifetime,” we can fall in and out of love as quickly as you can change channels on your television. We thrive on instant gratification and emotional connections are old school. We do not have the time to sulk on break ups, tinder is free.

It has become a chase. And once that ends, everything ends. Met someone new. Exchanged numbers. Late-night conversations. Ask out. Have sex. Lose interest and it repeats again. We are bombarded with options, who has the time to sit and cry for the loss. We believe in the ‘Let’s-end-this-before-it-gets-started.’

We are obsessed with perfection. We do not know how to handle flaws. “He is a great guy but he is fat,” “She has beautiful eyes but I do not like her dressing sense,” “He is everything that I ever wanted, only if he earned a little too.”

True love is sacrificing every ounce of yourself for someone else. It’s patient. It’s forgiving and understanding. It does not give up so soon. It can wait for a lifetime. As a generation, we are far too self-absorbed. We are too worried about ourselves to care for anyone else, and that is why we fail at bonding. To truly love someone means to put his or her needs before your own, and that seems to be too daunting of a task for our generation.

And if we walk inside deeper into their minds, they’re not wrong. This generation is broken inside, they have been used again and again. One wrong move and they’ll shatter and break into pieces. They’re too careful. They’re too protective and sheltered to let anyone come close enough ‘to see the devastation within’.  They do not ask for love anymore, because every time they asked for it, they were misled into darkness and pain.

We want convenience in our relationships. We also want our relationship to be verified by our  society. People do not anymore look for what life partners they’d like to spend the rest of their lives with, they want people who fit in society’s standards of ‘perfect partner’.  The Internet is flooded with articles like “How to know if a guy is into you” and “When to stop dating a wrong one.” Come on, Google cannot tell us if we are dating the right partner.

True love is a commitment for a lifetime. When you find your true love, there would never be a reason good enough for you to let them go. And that is exactly why we are terrified of finding true love.

“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn’t be one of them,” seems to be the popular mantra.

Orginally published at Different Truths under my weekly column – Relationship Rationale


5 thoughts on “Shouldn’t love be more than just that?

  1. Love this post! So true! I think media has done a great disservice to many people when they seek out this media-made fantasy of what true love looks like. True love looks like the grandparents celebrating 50 years of marriage, 50 years of unending devotion to each other, in the good times and the bad, in sickness and in health… THAT is true love. Really enjoyed this post! 🙂


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