Is Walking Away From Marriage Easier Today ?

Here’s my Weekly Column for Different Truths originally posted HERE

Deciding to end your marriage, without question is the most heart-breaking decision a couple could face. Marriage does not necessarily keep two people tied together, it’s the love and friendship between them which matters. Walking out of a relationship that you thought would end a lifetime and were willing to do anything to make it work is difficult but staying in an unhappy marriage could be worse.

Let’s take a different approach of looking at things. Being married to someone should feel like living with your best friend, no guessing, no drama and no obligations. You should not have the need to think twice before saying anything. A married couple can only be successful when they can talk about most disturbing aspects of their life and still go to bed not being mad at each other.

There’s an increasing number of divorces in India, which was unheard of in the past centuries. Our parents and grandparents were united through arranged marriages and they still manage to be a happy couple. Unlike, our generation that chose their life partner, were head over heels in love with each other as they tied knots in marriage and within a few years, they realise they cannot live together. There have been couples who were lovers for almost a decade but fall apart within a year of marriage. What has changed? Why has it become easier to walk out a relationship?

Why are our relationships immune to disaster? Has the West been an influence in our marriages? Women are more independent compared to that of a few decades ago. One of the reasons, women stayed much longer than they should have in an abusive marriage was financial dependence on their husbands and societal pressure to perform. We have finally broken the shackles of pleasing the society in all aspects. Our women are financially and emotionally independent human beings. They are already living alone away from their home and families. Women have understood that they do not need a man to survive.

“After my first wife and mother of my five children left us permanently, I felt like going through a divorce was the worst thing that could happen to a family. So when my second marriage was falling apart, as my kid’s sole and single parent, I was desperate to protect them from the trauma of another divorce. As a result, I kept the family in a situation that wasn’t good for any of us. The reality is, the worst thing for your children is for them to live in a hostile home and have them see you unhappy. My life and my children’s’ lives have gotten better and happier with each passing day after the divorce,” said Matt Sweetwood.

Walking out of a relationship that no more nurtures you and makes you feel better about yourself would always be the right decision. When a relationship is no longer a healthy one, you should abandon it. Never endure a broken marriage just to fulfill the vows you made or for the sake of commitment. You are doing no good to your partner and your children by pretending to love them. Children who grew up watching their parents fight and abuse each other take a very long time to heal themselves. They become rigid and closed when it comes to love. They start seeing marriage as hell. To bring up children in an unhappy marriage is the worst parenthood.

“If you’re a parent with young kids, getting a divorce is better than staying in a bad marriage because these are formative years for them. They will likely seek out and emulate the types of relationships they see modeled. I want my relationships to be happy, healthy and mutually respectful so that my children never settle for anything else in their own lives,” advises Lindsey Light.

Learning to let go and step into the unknown may be the single most important thing you can do for your own sanity and the sanity of those around you. Divorce sometimes is better than spending a life in an unhappy marriage.

Advertisements

23 thoughts on “Is Walking Away From Marriage Easier Today ?

    1. I am sorry to hear that you had to experience it.

      I strongly believe that we get into relationships for a reason. If it is not making our life better, there is no reason to continue it. We have this one life and we can not spend it with people who do not value us.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Rightly said, marriages does not tie people trust and love do. When we talk about marriage there are two families involved. And ofcourse , one of their own. If love walks out then there is no point in staying them. Sometimes, Letting things go gives peace of mind. But, make sure your kids doesnt start hating love or marriage. Because it is people who defines their married life.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for following my blog, Nikita. Pleasure to read your take on such a sensitive topic and this was beautifully expressed. I have my views too. Will share someday. Hope to have more interaction on each other’s space.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We are just following the Western world. I don’t agree that Your view that we have to let go of everything. My son’s case is his kids love him more than his wife. On what ground she claims I want them, since I gave birth. Better if they come to understand and not disrupt the Hindu Temple of Joint family.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ya, that’s true. But the couples today, fight over the smallest of things and their Egos are so Huge that they just cannot sit together and sort it out and take the Easy Way Out, Divorce. How did our Ansectors live so happily ?

    Like

    1. There’s a profound quote I read somewhere, couples managed to live together forever as they believed in repairing what’s broken and not throwing it away.

      I though agree that reasons for divorce are stupid sometimes.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Although controversial to many, the core message is apt. And I totally agree, trying to make something work is good, but the sad truth is it can’t go on for a lifetime. There comes a point when one has to decide what needs to be done.

    Like

  6. Agreed with you, Nikita. It’s not easy to come out from a marital relationship, especially, when there is a parenting issue. It’s a tough decision for the parents. And in that case, the child/ children is/are always the victim of the situation either their parents get divorced or stay at that bad relationship. Nice post.

    Like

  7. I want my relationships to be happy, healthy and mutually respectful so that my children never settle for anything else in their own lives. Loved this line. I would like to add that Education refines your sense of relationship. Falling in love is ok, but marriage decision must take some time. you should not get married just because you are in love. certain factors must be checked; will you adjust into his or her custom, check how frequently your decisions do not match and etc.

    Like

    1. I believe in one thing – when there’s love, there’s no need to change yourself or where you come from or what beliefs you have – love is about acceptance.

      If your love is real, marriage would only make the relationship better

      Like

Let me know you were here :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s