Everything they did not heard between – Nothing Much

I have never been THIS weird before, the way I am becoming since past few months. A whole month passes by and I have to think how it went. I have never been more involved in writing like today. I am working with a lot of Publishers, writing content for websites, doing blog posts, compiling all the creative work of my life but I am not certainly happy with my work.

I am losing the very essence of writing – to pour my heart out. I might be becoming my 16-year-old self again when it mattered what people think about me and when I had to pretend to be like everyone else. It’s nothing but suffocating the kind of pressure an individual is always surrounded with like Air which is invisible but present nonetheless.

I do not hate people, but I certainly feel better when they’re not around, “ said someone.

I am done with narrating my life to public. It certainly is better to pretend than be yourself with some people. 99% of them are interested in your life because they need masala for their own pathetic lives.

Deep inside, I’m scared.

I stopped sharing details about my life to everyone. I learned that most of them are just glad that you have problems.I find it hard to even tell people that I am happy. I have seen repercussions of sharing happiness. Just like they were glad I had problems, they had a problem every time I was glad.

Being Sensitive can be a curse at times. I feel the energy of the place and people heavily.I hear what they speak in their hearts, I see them naked and bare with maliciousness spread all over them. I do believe in Energy – Positive and Negative.

I can talk to you every day about all the things in the world and there still are chances that you won’t know a thing about me. I am very selective of the people that get to know me.

One childhood friend had broken my trust and I started doubting everyone else. That is the thing about Being Hurt. It piles one hurt upon another year after years.

I am oscillating between many beliefs  ideologies, emotions, and isms as of now. A Revolution has begun already. I am breaking the castles build from old beliefs and making the place for new ones to establish themselves.

What I do not need as of now is Fake Relationships, Pretentious Conversations, and Things that have no Soul.

It does not matter if I end up being alone or with a handful of people, I refuse to carry on the weight of  friendships that  have become a burden for my soul.

I am not used to this Idea of loving people who would be of help to you. I have no notion of loving people half-heartedly when I love, I do it fiercely and unconditionally.

I am not expecting a similar kind of love but I can not keep giving away myself for someone who loves me when they find it comfortable to do so.

 

I am walking away from all people who turned into chains…

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Everything they did not heard between – Nothing Much

  1. This was my life 3 years ago. I wish you could pick and choose whom you love but love doesn't work that way… does it? When you like a person or love them you don't think if they are worthy of it or are they beneficial to you… you just love. Walking away from people is tough but can be liberating as well.

    Like

  2. “I can talk to you every day about all the things in the world and there still are chances that you won't know a thing about me. ” This one hit home. I like what you say about sharing your deepest desires and yet not having the world see you in all your naked vulnerability. People think they know me because I write deep, personal posts but there are layers they will never know and there is a comfort in that knowledge. For what is life without a bit of mystery?

    Loving has to be unconditional for it to have value and humans are incapable of that, sadly. So are friendships. We live and learn.

    Like

  3. I have always felt that we can love whomsoever we want but if we get love from anyone,its god's gift to us, as love cant be demanded or got by asking.

    Like

  4. Isn't it Beautiful to remain mysterious , to let people keep wondering about you. I have always been afraid of people who tell me they Know me. I do not know myself either.

    Thanks for being here

    Like

Let me know you were here :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s