kitna chain hota hai na sachai me

“I think that’s what’s wrong with the world. No one says what they feel, they always hold it inside. They’re sad, but they don’t cry. They’re happy, but they don’t dance or sing. They’re angry, but they don’t scream. Because if they do, they feel ashamed. And that’s the worst feeling in the world. So everyone walks with their heads down and no one sees how beautiful the sky is.”

You need to have at least one person with whom you can be completely open. It might sound simple and obvious to have real conversations but takes courage and risk. We rarely share our feelings completely /unfiltered with anyone because we fear they won’t understand.We doubt that they would use it against us. We are terrified that they would judge us and label us in certain ways.I was once upon a time called a Cry Baby. I decided to never show my tears to them and pretend to be happy even when I’m not.Now they all wish to be like me. 

The mind can be your servant or your master. If you stop it from talking nonsense , It will stop one day. If you trust all that it says inside,you shall  be damned It will tell you that your parents don’t love you and your spouse has changed and everyone is selfish and much much more poisonous things. Pick carefully .

Life can be more challenging for us as women as We are told that we are weak but expected to do all that requires a strong and courageous heart.We are the ones, who leave our parents home and start living with a completely new family , we know nothing about. I bet , men can’t survive a week at someone Else’s place. It is expected from us to adapt and adjust to the new family, forget that once you wore shorts at home and waked up at 12 pm and demanded your favorite butter toasts. You should be strong enough to fulfill all the expectations without a sigh. And they say Men are Strong.

“Inside every woman, is a crazy girl. And we all know what I’m talking about. That part of you that is entangled with insecurities, fears, and absolute insanity! The art of femininity lies in the molding, pounding, and defeating of that crazy girl on a daily basis! Look at any woman, and you’re looking at a woman fighting a daily battle, wielding her weapons in war, every day! I have said it before and I’ll say it again: it is never easy being a woman! And if we could only pound that crazy, insecure girl out of ourselves, it would make such the difference!”

People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don’t. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut’s long gone, the pain still lingers.”Scars shall be your strength in difficult times and remind you that You are a Warrior Soul. It is okay to be sad sometimes,there is nothing wrong if you do not want to talk to anyone for now.Take your time and talk to your inner self and try to understand the reason behind restlessness of the soul.Sometimes, the answer could be as simple as I need a walk alone . 

Do what makes you happy.Meet new people and sometimes just sit at the bench of the park and look around. I saw yesterday , three teenage girls sitting close to each other , looking up at the sky and dreaming about Life ahead. I saw a 2 year old walking ans stumbling and laughing at strangers. There is so much you can learn from a child. Innocence has great lessons to preach. I saw a father who was teaching her daughter how to play badminton .I wish they taught us that Nobody could love daughters they way they did. 

Like every normal girl, I was excited about marriage . I never thought beyond the time that I would spend happily with my prince charming. But today when I am married, I realize that marriage is not all roses. It’s not just about being with your beloved and having a gala time. There is so much more to it.

It comes with its own share of responsibilities, duties, sacrifices and compromises. I can’t wake up anytime I want to. I am expected to be up and ready before everyone else in the family. I can’t laze around in my pajamas throughout the day. I am expected to be presentable every time. I can’t just go out anytime I want to.

I am expected to be sensitive to the needs of the family. I just can’t hit the bed anytime I want to. I am expected to be active and around the family. I can’t expect to be treated like a princess but am supposed to take care of everyone else in the family. And then I think to myself, ‘why did I get married at all?’ I was happier with you, mom.

Sometimes I think of coming back to you and getting pampered again. I want to come home to my favorite food cooked by you every evening after a nice outing with friends. I want to sleep on your laps like I have no worry in this world.  

But at the end of the day , when I try and figure out what actually went wrong – I was expecting a fairy tale from a real . mundane life. I counted on my blessings again and told myself that not every one gets lucky like me to marry the one they had always loved. Not everyone gets a wonderful family like the one I have. It could be a bad day but not a bad Life

Written for Kinley – kitna chain hota hai na sachai me contest 



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