I Never Believed I was Beautiful

Fear is a deception

Even worse, it’s based on a lie.

The fear tells you , “Watch out, bad things are happening you’re not seeing, don’t ever think you’re completely OK, never let down your guard.”But take a close look at this moment, right now. You are probably alright: No one is attacking you, you are not drowning, no bombs are falling, there is no crisis. It’s not perfect, but you’re OK.

 One of my biggest personal failures was to spend an eternity believing  that I ain’t good enough. Most of my teenage years were nothing but a series of self bashing . I was afraid of being beautiful. I did not believed I had courage to speak out my heart .I let the glorious years eat me alive.I’d like to blame the failure on the inexperienced naive 16 year old girl who was not much often told she was Pretty.

 I hardly recollect handful of days when I felt great about myself during my college days. I was never good at approaching people , being the friendlier one or being available.Worst , I hated them. My thoughts juxtaposed triviality of their expressions.

 I had fear of not being accepted as I knew I was Different. I would not spend hours talking about latest fashion trends . I had nothing substantial to say when girls of my age dream of their husbands. It was Madness . “You have just rolled out of your schools , Girls. Getting Married and bearing children is not our sole objective in life.”I was screaming inside.

But Yes , I had fear of expressing my views.

Quite a lot of my friends approached me with proposals.I could never say Yes. I did not had the perfect curves or the prettiest face and my parameters of beauty were restrained those days. When I look  back at my own self 15 years old , I realize I was Beautiful.What was lacking was the Confidence.Only thing that makes me smile was I was a favorite of a Professor , Sushil Kumar Gupta . He was probably the first one who saw a budding writer in me. He was impressed by my thoughts that I had jotted down in one of his assignments .

I still remember what he said to me that day , ” You are the Perfect Package . You are Charming , Beautiful and your thoughts are self provoking . You have the right ingredients to be a great writer one day ”  They are the most beautiful words anyone said to me ever. This was the day when I never looked back .There was no stopping me .This was the day I came to know I was BEAUTIFUL

So , It’s about a single person that takes you out of your cocoon with his kind and sympathetic words.Never miss a chance to tell someone How Beautiful they are ! It might be the first time someone said it to them.

Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn’t have the courage to say “yes” to life?”
― Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes 

Written for Mountain Dew


6 thoughts on “I Never Believed I was Beautiful

  1. I always believe myself in this quote so well–“Beauty lies in the eye of beholder”. its rightly said and stated. the reason is my beauty may not be beauty for other and vice-versa…thanks for ur wonderful post…


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